My story continues at sea...
The joy of starting my journey to becoming a woman was
beyond any emotion I had ever felt.
After taking my first dose of estrogen I walked to the ocean and stood
ankle deep in the cold water. I
could see my bright coral colored toenails clearly through the sun-filled
sea. The water felt refreshing and
I decided, despite the cool temperature, to walk out even deeper until I was almost
submerged under the waves. But, I was still wearing my wig and worried it might
fall off. I imagined someone coming
across a floating pile of hair and being terrified at the site of a middle-aged
bald man-like person in a bikini, so I decided not to go under completely.
Girl Afraid is a blog about living my life openly as a transgender woman. I hope to discover more about who I am by writing and sharing my story. The thoughts and opinions are my own, experienced from a unique point of view. All I'm offering is my version of the truth, nothing more. Thanks for reading. ♥Gia
Monday, April 22, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Boston
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| Boston Skyline, Saturday April 13, 2013 |
In fact, I was in Boston all week before the race. My dad had just had heart surgery at Tufts Medical Center and I had been visiting him with my mom and other family members for eight days. He was released from the hospital just on Sunday. I thought about staying on Monday to watch this magical race one more time for inspiration and to see some of my heros, like Olympians Shalane Flanagan and Kara Goucher. But I wasn't feeling too good, so I drove home to Maine and watched the race, start to finish, on my computer.
As a marathon runner who grew up just a mile from Heartbreak Hill and have been a lifelong fan of this historic marathon, I've come to know it as one of the greatest sporting events in the world. I will train even harder now with the hope of running this treasured race someday with spirits of those who lost their lives on this tragic Patriot's Day in Boston.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Kids are Alright part 3.
School's out for the Summer
The celebration of the start of summer usually brings teachers great joy, but for me, there was only more anxiety. I have always found peace and solace, sitting on the beach late in the afternoon with a book in one hand and a drink in the other. But as sat in my beach chair on the first day of summer and I looked out over the cool blue-green Atlantic Ocean, I noticed my usual unobstructed view wasn't so clear. On my horizon were several obstacles and a few promising new adventures.
The celebration of the start of summer usually brings teachers great joy, but for me, there was only more anxiety. I have always found peace and solace, sitting on the beach late in the afternoon with a book in one hand and a drink in the other. But as sat in my beach chair on the first day of summer and I looked out over the cool blue-green Atlantic Ocean, I noticed my usual unobstructed view wasn't so clear. On my horizon were several obstacles and a few promising new adventures.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
The Kids are Alright part II
Preface
Today I learned that a British transgender teacher was found dead in her home. Its believed she killed herself. I can’t stop thinking about her and my tears have now run dry. Despite the bright sun and welcome spring-like weather, it feels like I’m suffocating in a dark grey cloud of sadness. Usually my long Sunday run is rejuvenating, triggering endorphins and brightening even the darkest days, but it didn’t today. I never met this woman and only saw a picture of her this morning. I recall reading a few blog posts earlier this year about her and how she began to transition in school. I guess I had a personal interest and it was encouraging to learn of her story, especially that she had her school’s apparent support. But the bloodthirsty tabloid press constantly hounded her from the time her private details became public, and her life was never the same again. Nearly two years ago, I came out to my school community,
Today I learned that a British transgender teacher was found dead in her home. Its believed she killed herself. I can’t stop thinking about her and my tears have now run dry. Despite the bright sun and welcome spring-like weather, it feels like I’m suffocating in a dark grey cloud of sadness. Usually my long Sunday run is rejuvenating, triggering endorphins and brightening even the darkest days, but it didn’t today. I never met this woman and only saw a picture of her this morning. I recall reading a few blog posts earlier this year about her and how she began to transition in school. I guess I had a personal interest and it was encouraging to learn of her story, especially that she had her school’s apparent support. But the bloodthirsty tabloid press constantly hounded her from the time her private details became public, and her life was never the same again. Nearly two years ago, I came out to my school community,
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The Kids are Alright
It was an early January morning in Maine and the temperature
outside was somewhere below zero. I don’t think it matters all that much once
the mercury drops below freezing; it was cold. I was sitting in my warm car trying to find the courage to
walk across the parking lot and go inside. I had cafeteria duty at the high school where I was a
teacher for eight years. During my
tenure at this school and at all the other schools where I taught in my 19 year
career I worked outwardly as a man, but that was all about to change.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Melting Snow
I sat in my warm car, hiding from the late winter wind that
howled through the streets of Boston waiting for the right time to go into the
club. The sun was setting and the city looked desperately attractive a week
after an historic snowstorm. It
was a familiar place, but a very far different era. It had been a long time since I was here, with a boyfriend,
25 years ago. He was cute and
playful,
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Connect the Dots
Recently, after participating in panel discussion about
gender and sexuality for high school students, a young woman, maybe 16-years
old, hesitantly approached and thanked me for sharing my story. I was touched by her compliment, and I
could sense she wanted to say more.
With her friends by her side, she confided in me, that she recently came
out to her family,
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